Bad news today...
In the week and a half of taking the prednisone, I have gained 15.6 pounds. My feet hurt constantly from the swelling, I can't sleep and I can finish 2 plates of spaghetti in less than 30 minutes. My face has blown up to make a complete circle now and I can no longer wear my wedding ring because of the swelling.
The doctor tells me I'm in between a rock and a hard place.
Needing to lose weight in order to get my kidney, but being on a medication that makes me gain at ridiculous speed and makes me feel worse than I do when I don't take it, but I'm not in joint pain and it inhibits the Lupus activity.
I'm not one to complain too much. I have a mere cold compared to a lot of people I know. And then in some cases, I do have it pretty rough. But I have to keep looking up.
Keep looking at what I CAN do instead of what I CAN'T.
Start being what I KNOW I can be instead of what I WANT to be.
I want to be healthy... and no matter how hard I try, that reality keeps drifting furthur from me. I want to have the energy to play with my daughter, go grocery shopping, clean my house, go hang out with friends and attend every single friends birthday parties, wedding,showers and etc... but I know I can't.
I want to focus some of my energy on my photography but all my energy has to go into doctors and Abi... even my poor husband has to be let down a lot....
My temper is on auto-pilot with the prednisone and I find myself being more snippy and more annoyed than usual... which is why I am trying to stay off FB as much as I can while on this medication. I am likely to say things I wouldn't normally say.
Do you know what its like to have a tiny pill change your WHOLE world and NOT for the better... I almost would rather be in pain... but sometimes that pain is too much to bear also.
So I ask you... which I don't normally do, to be grateful... if you have your health, THANK GOD EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY BREATH you don't have to deal with your own serious health issues along with a child, a husband, a mortgage and an endless amount of medical bills piling in each week.
Be grateful, please.
We all have our own battles, and I know everyone has problems... but if you are healthy, Please, be grateful.
<3
Gosh Jeanene. I'm sorry! I had no idea that was going on. I knew you weren't feeling well, but not his bad. I will keep you in my prayers. I didn't know a medicine could do that!
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