What Would Jesus Do?

These past two weeks have drained me emotionally.
As a Christian, I try to maintain a level head about everything, seriously asking myself the cheesy line, "What would Jesus do?" Its such an overkill statement but its fitting... seriously, as a Christian, that is what we should think with EVERY decision we make.

From finances, business, relationships and even conversation. POSTS on Facebook! I know I am guilty of that last one because I am WAY more arguementative than Jesus was/is.

The life we lead is a walking pamplet to show people what Jesus is. I know I let Him down when I say or do things that come off mean, but I am really not mean, so thats why there is such a conflict in me. It comes off mean or rude but isn't meant to... thats something I really need to work on to be more like Christ.

Christians as a whole are some of the most hypocritical people EVER. Sunday Christians is what I have heard then described as. Postin on FB how much they love Jesus on Sunday and how great service was then BAM! Its like someone else had taken over their body the rest of the 6 days of the week.

I am not saying I don't do things wrong, cause I know I do... but the people I see are ones who REFUSE to ADMITT what they do is severely unChristian. Ugh. Thats another deal...

I just hope God grants me some peace about what rattles my mind so much lately. I have been so down this past couple weeks. Even Abi can tell I'm not the same and THAT is NOT cool with me.

Lame. God, please help me. With EVERYTHING. <3

Just Don't Know

My mind is going a billion different directions.  My heart hurts and I have no peace on what burdens me.

I have been brought up to fight to the end. That only until there is NOTHING left to fight for, I keep fighting.

Moses wondered through the desert for 40 years TRUSTING in God. And yet for most people, they fight until they get tired.

Ironic how I gave in after 4 days to an immature persons actions and now see myself learning from what I say to myself as I write. I gave into my anger, my frustration and intense will to make someone who didn't care to see their faults try and see them... when I know that coming from me, it wouldn't matter. I said things I shouldn't have, but I'll admit it was a bit of ignorant justice.

I still hope the issue resolves and we can be civil. I completely dislike cutting off people. I just wish people could agree to disagree, respect each other in their beliefs and go on in life.

I wish I could make everyone see my heart and know its not angry, hateful or judgemental. Its hurting for the people I see posting on Facebook daily. The things they say, the way they behave and the choices they make that aren't for the benefit of them or their families. I know everyone makes mistakes. But it hurts my heart and I tend to feel the need to carry peoples burdens. I guess because I think I can.

Bah. What a rant. I write between serving dinner to my family, watching some Americas Got Talent and bathtime and pre bedtime playtime. When my mind stops focusing on the distraction, it tends to go into overdrive and take over.

Ugh. Lousy situations all around me. I really hope the Lord opens eyes, gives peace, saves souls and changes relationships through all this chaos.

My 1st Blog

Woah! I am starting a blog. Mainly for myself. To vent. To express my joys. My frustrations. My sadness. My OPINIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those ALWAYS seem to get me in trouble. I don't usually see gray, I see in black and white. I see as right and wrong. I dont judge others for their views or opinions but I am often judged for mine. And quite harshly.

I know those who know me well love and accept my rough exterior and know the Jeanene thats inside. Those who have seem me at my lowest and at my highest. Who were by me in my dying bed and those with me on the day my angel was born. To me, THOSE people matter most.

But for those that I would normally brush off and glady flip the bird to, the Holy Spirit, my Christian side takes over and God YELLS IN MY EAR the word of peace and understanding. God knows thats what it takes to get me to listen. LOL!

Its a constant battle of Jeanene's human nature versus Gods Mercy and Love.

Half of me wants to reach out endlessly in love and hope for peoples good nature and the other half of me wants to make people see how stupid they are acting. Am I the only one? I doubt that.

I am a loving person who has a passion for truth. In EVERYTHING I search for truth.

I know I am hard to understand. Come off harsh. I come off rude when the majority of the time, I never mean to. I dislike when people don't follow common courtesy (opening doors, saying thank you, etc) and its actually one of my biggest pet peevs in the world.

My husband constantly tells me how he wishes everyone could see the Jeanene he gets to see. Honestly, I don't ever see that happening. LOL! But I will NEVER stop trying to better myself to be a better example for Abi and my husband,

So in this blog, you will read my rants. You will read my opinions. And you will also be reading about my growth in my spirituality and human nature. My frustrations and my hopes.

If you care to read and have an arguement, praise or have a beef with me, I highly suggest communicating with me. I am not afraid to admitt I am wrong or that I mistook something. I am a human with many faults. So read along if you care! lol